Several years ago, when I walked away from the people who had hurt me the most, I felt released by God to not turn back. I had just given my life to Christ, and I felt Him calling me out and away so that He could do a healing work in me. That door had to be shut. For a season.

I had forgiven them. There was no more hate. No more anger. The unhealthy cord had been severed, and as I placed them in God’s hands and let go, I prayed that they would find the same hope I had found. I quietly prayed for restoration, but I also knew it would take time.

Several years have passed.

I’ve held on to a small thread of hope all this time, yet not much has changed on the landscape. And while the door of my heart has always remained open…there’s change coming. I can feel it.

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19

It’s time. And while His prompting takes me by surprise, I’m filled with a hope and joy I wasn’t expecting. I’ve discovered a new dimension of His love, and quite frankly – it’s overwhelming. And my faith has found it’s childlike innocence once again to believe for the seemingly impossible.

It’s time. Time to go back and reach out to the very people that hurt me the most. Time to live life on the offensive. Time to go back and pray for them like I’ve never prayed before. Time to believe for those who perhaps can’t believe for themselves. Time to hope for those who have no hope. And time to love those who can seem unlovable or even incapable of loving themselves.

[Oh God. That was us, wasn’t it? And not only did You come. You died....for us.]

My prayer is that God would continue to add another chapter to this wonderful story of my life. That it wouldn’t finish where it last left off. No. That souls wouldn’t be lost and left behind, but found. That they would come to know Him-the way I know Him. That they would be healed from all their sickness. That their purpose would be realized. And that their latter days would be even better than any they’ve ever known.

I honestly don’t know what the outcome will be. But I am called to faith. And I am determined to live by an active faith…..hoping for what I don’t yet see and believing God even if I don’t know the outcome.

“By faith Abraham….obeyed and went, even though….” Hebrews 11:8

The door may have been closed for a season. But now… “See I have set before you an open door that no man can shut.” Rev 3:8 And I will gladly, humbly, take a step through that door for the glory of His name, knowing He’s with me every step of the way.

I share this to encourage you – when it comes to souls, never ever give up. Live a life of faith, believing, hoping. Follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit, and always be ready, if necessary, to lovingly help them pick up the fragments of their lives. Let nothing be wasted or left behind.

LGR

Recently, I discovered a couple of things that have held me back to some extent from speaking to more people about Christ, and even inviting them to church. I want to share them with you.

First – By nature, I am not comfortable with the “direct ask”.
There are some people that are great at this. My husband, for example, is a great salesman. You can’t make it in sales if you are not comfortable with being direct. For me personally, I’ve learned that my strength is advising people, and getting to more of a one-on-one level with their their individual need. When I can speak to their heart, that’s when I am the most effective. Now of course, not everyone I meet is going to be able or willing to open up to a complete stranger. But you know what I’ve learned? There are SEVERAL who are. They don’t have people in their lives that will make time for them or give a care. Those are the ones God is calling me to, and the ones I keep my eyes open for. This may mean I won’t touch as many people as say, someone like my husband might. But that’s okay – I know who I am, and I know who God made me to reach. I have an obligation to God, them, and myself to be authentically….me.

Secondly – I’ve articulated what “the ask” sounds like for me.
While it’s much easier for me to be conversational vs. being direct – there’s a point in leading others to Christ or inviting them to church where my conversation will still eventually have to switch to “the ask”. Since this part is the most un-natural part of the conversation for me, I know it’s not going to slip right off the tip of my tongue very easily. So I’ve had to think through what I’m going to say ahead of time. It’s still sincere and authentic, but it’s clearly defined. Kind of like an altar call at the end of a message. I’ve noticed how several pastors and teachers will speak freely during their message, but when it comes time to close – they will typically say something along the same lines each time. Not so much of a script – they’re still sensitive to the crowd and who they’re talking to – but they’ve found a way to communicate “the ask” in a way that is moving, compelling and authentically them. This has been huge for me. I’m no longer hesitant for fear that I may not know what to say, or how to ask.

So how about you? Is anything holding you back from stepping outside of your comfort zone to reach others? Identify those things. Put words behind them, and then do the necessary so that you’re not held back. There’s a world in need waiting for you.

LGR

Luke had his first full week of school last week and is absolutely loving it. He’s already made lots of new friends, is enjoying the “good-star” reward system at the end of each day and has even stepped out of his food-preference shell to enjoy the “school-cafeteria” experience.

Luke loves structure (wonder where he got that from?) so the routine of each day really works well with him. I’m so proud of how he is doing and how I can already see he’s a light shining – a difference maker. His future is so so bright.

Some of my favorite things so far: the excitement I see in his face when he spots me in the parent pickup line…the enthusiasm with which he shares about the projects he worked on during the day…the way he comes home to play “school” with Skylar (he has to be the teacher, of course)…and the way trying new things at school has translated into trying new things in other areas of his life too-he’s more open to change now.

Thanks everyone for your texts/tweets/fb posts of encouragement. Really appreciated that – they were like warm hugs and high fives across the miles.

LGR

Luke playing music class w/Skylar

Luke, Born Christmas Day

Next week, our family will be entering a new season in life. Our oldest son Luke, starts Kindergarten. Yeesh.

As a family, we are all dealing with our own sets of emotions about it. For example Skylar, our 3 year old daughter asked yesterday what we were planning on naming our next baby. (Say What?!?!?!?!?) As we talked about it more, we realized that she’s going to miss having her brother around at daycare. So for her, the solution was quite simple: Just have another one to keep her company! When we finally told her we didn’t see that happening, she moved on from us, looked up to her ceiling and started praying to God instead that it would happen! It was pretty funny.

As parents, everyone faces new emotions and anxieties about this stage of life. Kids open up a deeper level of vulnerability within us unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced. And it only took the emotions of buying his first backpack (yes, I cried) to quickly recognize that launching my kids out is going to take a whole-nutha-level of strength and trust in God.

I’m really excited for Luke, and I know he’s going to do incredible in school. And while my heart is still tender, what’s really helped me get through this time is knowing which feelings to accept and which ones to reject.

Waves of various emotions have come crashing in on the shorelines of my heart and mind. But once I took time to examine them, I found that a lot of my feelings and emotions were actually rooted in fear. Once I recognized that, it was easier to dismiss and reject them and the good feelings of excitement and anticipation came to the top and have allowed me to enjoy this time instead of being weighed down.

So here we go – heading into the big week. And in my mind I’m playing the following over and over: “Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.” Philippians 4:8 MSG

I’m packing myself full of strength to draw from. If you have any additional words of wisdom or encouragement – I’d love to hear from you! I could use it right about now.

LGR

Here’s a look back at the last 5 years…

Luke, 2 years old

Luke, 3 years old

Luke, 4 years old

Luke, 5 years old

Luke, earlier this year

Meet The Teacher Day

Meet The Teacher Day

“Loyalty” that seeks to prove itself is hardly ever loyalty at all. It is actually a very telling sign of a self-seeking heart attempting to gain promotion or status with an attitude of “look-at-what-I’m-doing-for-you”. But by our own words we are either acquitted or condemned. (Matt 12:37) Just remember the man who thought he was proving his loyalty to King David by announcing he had just thrust the fatal dagger into King Saul. David could see right through that into a heart rooted in pride and betrayal and actually had him killed on the spot because of his treason.

Loyalty does indeed require that we guard the interests of those to whom we are loyal. It also means we faithfully represent their hearts. But when demonstrating faithful loyalty, we must always remember that first and foremost, stands our loyalty and commitment to God.

Loyalty that is grounded in the law and truth of God will be shown in a way that is both honoring and loyal to those we serve and love, AND most importantly, it will be honoring and loyal to the character of God. We can’t effectively depict Godly loyalty while at the same time treating other brothers and sisters with a character of betrayal. Standing for loyalty on one front can never be at the expense of acting unrighteously on another.

Jesus modeled this best in the way He treated and interacted with Judas. Never once did He compromise or act in and unrighteous way. He still reached out in love with no indifference yet all the while upholding truth and love.

Let us always remember it is God’s approval and honor we seek, not man’s. And may our ears always listen only for the words from our God, “Well done, good and faithful servant”.

LGR

“Koinonia” is used frequently in the New Testament to describe the relationship within the early Church as well as the act of breaking bread as Christ modeled at the Passover meal. It’s actually a word so rich in meaning that it is said there is no single English word adequate enough to express its depth and richness. If we explore it further, we find it’s a word that identifies the idealized state of fellowship and communion that should exist amongst believers.

This inspires me, and my life is rich because of the many great people I get to do life with. But, if I can be honest, there was a time I viewed having relationships as a total drain. It wasn’t that I didn’t want people in my life, but it seemed every time I tried – it just sucked the life out of me. I was left feeling depleted, and it seemed like too much effort that I quite frankly, didn’t have the energy to sustain. And I finally realized why.

The reason this level of intimacy worked amongst the early Church was because they were first passionately in love and completely dependent on Christ – not each other. Just as with everything else, God must be the source from which our relationships flow. He must be the source from which we first draw. Friends, family, spouses, mentors, pastors, leaders, etc. can never meet the needs that only God was intended to meet. These are all meaningful relationships in our lives, but they should only be an echo of our relationship with God.

If a relationship starts to feel like a drain, it’s most likely that one of the parties is trying to pull or draw from the other what was never intended for them to give. This will only create a co-dependent, selfish relationship instead of a healthy one that flows from a solid foundation of love in Christ. It won’t last, because all it does it depletes, and in time – it will leave only emptiness.

Knowing all of this has helped me redefine relationships and enjoy them. In order to be a better friend to others, I place God first. I am careful to not lay burdens on others or try to draw from them what I know only God can satisfy in my life. And when it comes to having friends in my life, I make sure I don’t take God’s first place of honor in that relationship. For example, it’s not my place to speak into a friends’ life if I know they haven’t sought out God first. That would be placing myself in first position, trying to provide something only God can provide, and setting myself up for depletion. I just won’t do it. The best way I can act in love in that case is to point them to seek God first, and walk alongside them as they do that. Then, I can be a healthy echo that resounds the truth and love of God working actively in their life. It’s actually very freeing.

So in the words of I Thessalonians 5:11,”…encourage each other and build each other up.” Be a friend that honors God first and seek to build friendships that are not co-dependent on one another, but instead fully dependent first on Christ.

LGR

“..Fake Messiahs and lying preachers are going to pop up everywhere. Their impressive credentials and dazzling performances will pull the wool over the eyes of even those who ought to know better.” (Matthew 24:24 MSG)

Now of course, Jesus didn’t tell us this so that we would live in constant fear, or in spooky “conspiracy-theory-type” suspicion of others. People can get so weird about this kind of stuff. Instead, I look at this more like a reminder to keep my defenses strong and to remember that my ability to withstand comes from my personal time with God. It’s vital.

Through the Holy Spirit, God intended for us to know the very difference between truth and lies (I John 2:21). We actually have the ability to “test” everything we hear, see and read through the filter of truth (I John 4:1). One of the very purposes of the Holy Spirit is to guide us in all truth. (John 16:13)

But the only way to combat deceit is to be so full of truth (which comes through reading the Bible for ourselves, and hearing God for ourselves) that when deceit comes our way, we can quickly recognize it and reject it.

And not only are we to know it – we are to speak up and declare the truth faithfully.

“Let these false prophets tell their dreams, BUT let my true messengers faithfully proclaim [demonstrate or indicate clearly] my every word. There is a difference between straw and grain (remember, we can “test” the difference); Does not my word burn like fire? Is it not like a mighty hammer that smashes a rock to pieces?” Jeremiah 23:28-29

We live in a fallen, broken world, but remember – take heart, Christ has already overcome the world (John 16:33). He has not left us defenseless (John 14:18). Just remember – “Keep a cool head. Stay alert…and keep a firm grip on the faith.” (I Peter 5:8) for “You have already won a big victory over those false teachers, for the Spirit in you is far stronger than anything in the world.” (I John 4:4)

LGR

I know this may sound odd, it’s kind of funny, really – but one of the greatest life lessons and safeguards I’ve established in my life comes from thinking about this donkey. Let me explain.

I feel very fortunate to know what gifts God has placed in me. I find great joy and satisfaction from using them. But one of the things I’ve learned is that I must have the right attitude about those gifts and keep them in their proper place. Any dislocation or upset in that order would cause me to begin relating to those gifts in an unhealthy way.

These are just some of the things I try to keep at the forefront of my mind that help me keep it in order:

First of all, I am created to bring glory to God. To Him. Not me. Any gift that God would be so gracious to bless me with is not for me to use so that I can leave “my brand” or “my mark” behind. That would be seeking my own glorification. Whenever I use those gifts, I remember that the only reason I have them is for the glorification of Christ. Anything I do should point people to Him. Not me.  (The purpose of the donkey was so that people could see Christ, not the donkey!)

Secondly – I am only one part of a larger Body: the Body of Christ. Anytime God calls on me to give of the gifts He has placed within me, my aim is to capture the larger picture/vision of what God is doing, and then offer up those gifts only in a way that will harmonize together with the rest of His body. This cannot be accomplished if “self” or pride about “my giftings” is on the throne of my heart. It has to be all about Him and what He’s doing. (The donkey had one part to play in the larger picture of what was going on that day…again, it wasn’t about the donkey!)

Lastly, if God should be so gracious in letting me see the fruit of my labor during my time here on earth, that is a gift in and of itself. It’s not an expectation. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about efficiency, planning, and being strategic to make sure I’m making the best use of my time, and talents; but if I’m truly living for the eternal, I have to be okay with the fact that while here on earth, I may never see the fruit of what I’ve done. Again, it’s a much larger picture than just my here and now. The fruit I labor for is to be offered up as unto God – not me. I don’t lust after it. It’s not my fruit. It’s His. Instead, my satisfaction comes from the confidence, peace and joy I receive when doing what I know God has called me to do.

So there you have it. Life lessons from a donkey. Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean I have a lower than healthy opinion about myself. To the contrary, I am confident in knowing that God thought me valuable enough to give His Son for me. But this just helps me keep things in check to make sure an altered attitude doesn’t set in my heart. Whenever I have the opportunity to give of those gifts – I just remember the donkey.

“…Make me ambitious to please Thee, even if as a result I must sink into obscurity and my name be forgotten as a dream. Rise, O Lord, into Thy proper place of honor, above my ambitions, above my likes and dislikes, above my family, my health and even my life itself. Let me sink that Thou mayest rise above. Ride forth upon me as Thou rode into Jerusalem mounted upon the humble little donkey, and let me hear the children cry to Thee, “Hosanna in the highest.” A W Tozer

LGR

I think as believers, we feel the pain of failure in a different way than others do. One of the reasons our hearts naturally revolt against failure so much is because failure is completely contrary to the nature of Christ living within us.

Speaking from my own personal experience, every failure I’ve endured bruised and bloody knees from can be traced back to the moment I either chose my own path, chased things that were never intended for me to have, or didn’t wait on God long enough to hear His clear, precise direction.

Yet, on the other hand, I can look back at every time I’ve moved forward in the confidence of knowing that God was clearly directing every single step and it’s those times that have resulted in the greatest ground taken in my life. They have produced the greatest fruit, the greatest joy, and the greatest satisfaction.

Processing through failure properly is the key to truly learning from it. And for me, truly learning from my failures has come more through first allowing myself to be taken to a deeper level of surrender and trust in God. This is almost counter-intuitive because most of us tend to react to failure in a different way. We try to toughen up and “dust ourselves off to get back up again”, or just try to develop more skill or “try harder”.

Now sometimes, self-development is necessary to keep moving forward. But that should come later. Instead, I’ve learned the best thing I can do is to first go back to my place of failure and as I mentioned earlier, find the spot where I missed God. So in essence, repentance is really one of the first things I deal with when facing failure. And 100% of the time, I am able to go back and find where “self” took over and messed things up. But when I take responsibility for my mis-step and repent, 100% of the time I feel God’s hand being the one to pick me up and place me back on my feet again. And that is what restores my confidence and courage to move forward without the fearful feeling of failure looming over my head.

The feeling of failure does have the potential to seize us and start weakening us, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Will we still fail in life? Of course. But by going to deeper levels of surrender in God and learning how to deal with failure properly when it does happen, we can minimize the time and energy it can rob from our lives, and also make sure our foundation is solid on Christ alone – not on our own ability.

Another beautiful thing I’ve found is that when I deal with failure in this way, it is then that His truths start to come to life once again and I can honestly believe that with Him – nothing is impossible.

LGR

First, there were several “big” things and several “smaller” things that God had done so far this year, which as I started listing them I noticed caused an immediate reaction of excitement and encouragement in my spirit. I recognized how valuable this list was to keep should I hit any moments down the road where I just want to reflect, or start to feel discouraged.

Secondly, I was also able to recognize “dip zones” for lack of better words where perhaps there was a lull or no true evidence of advancement – not that we get to cross finish lines every day of the race, but this made me think about the importance of making sure that I’m at least moving the bar forward in some way every single day.

As I did this exercise, Exodus 20:24 came to mind: “Build my altar wherever I cause My name to be remembered, and I will come to you and bless you.” When we view progress through the right filter – which is glorifying God, celebrating victories become like altars of worship to Him. They are place markers along the way where “God has caused His name to be remembered”, and look at what He says when we do – “I will come to you and bless you”.

From the business standpoint, I’ve always known the importance of tracking progress, but now that God has reminded me that it is also worship, that raises the value of it to another level. So now, there’s a new spot for this list in my binder. Nothing fancy, just easily accessible as well as easily viewable – right there along with all the goals and targets I’ve set for the next year – a place to capture the victories along the way, whether they be big or small. Can’t wait to see what it looks like by the end of the year!

LGR